| THE DREAM IS ALIVE |
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| 09:20am 23/09/2009 |
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mood:  exanimate
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Maybe I wasn't insane predicting the Jets would go 11-5 this year. I think I predicted they'd lose their first two games, is the funny thing. |
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| SPAM EMAIL OF THE DAY! |
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| 02:37pm 18/09/2009 |
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mood: exanimate
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Attn Sir,
As a matter of urgency my patient Mrs Lena Morrison a widow an American citizen is at the point of death here in American Hospital Dubai. She made an oral WiLL earlier this morning for her bond investment of £6.878.678 with one of the bank here in Dubai . She mandated me as her Doctor to find a good American citizen man or woman whom will make use of this fund as humanitarian assistance and whom will use it to help the less previlledged in the U.S.A If you receive this letter with interest to help response and i will explain more to you on the next step to take.
Dr. Amro Al-Astal |
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| That deaf, dumb and blind kid.... |
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| 11:04am 02/09/2009 |
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mood: exanimate
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I'm starting a football twitter this year. For updates, add me: Foosball_Wizard. All I promise you is more intelligent commentary than the average football commentator, which isn't much. You'll only receive football tweets from me on game days when I'm paying attention. |
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| A Joe Namath Style Guarantee |
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| 05:00pm 08/08/2009 |
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mood: exanimate
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Mark Sanchez will be the starting QB in week one for the Jets barring an injury or total implosion.
Not really a QB competition here. |
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| GREAT MOMENTS IN BUDDHISM! *TRAILS OFF, ECHO STYLE* |
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| 05:12pm 06/08/2009 |
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mood: exanimate
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I walked out of work and started unchaining my bike from a pole. There were tiny ants all over the post my bicycle was chained to, and some had strayed onto the wet bicycle seat I was about to cover with a plastic bag for my ride home.
With immense loving-kindness and compassion I gently blew the tiny ants from my bicycle seat. Satisfied that they would all go home safely to their cyclopean (by ant standards) nest, I affixed the plastic bag to my seat and rode on.
There was a police officer offering free registration of bicycles to prevent theft, so I stopped to register mine. During the process, a mere two minutes after my ant capades ended, some sort of horrific insect beast stung my forearm.
I LOVE YOU TOO, HORRIFIC BEAST. |
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| Sportsline.com Indulges Rabid Football Fans |
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| 05:51pm 04/08/2009 |
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mood: exanimate
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Thanks to sportsline.com, rabid football fans such as myself can view text updates from their team's minicamp.
This made me crack a smile:
"Aug 4 2009 | 10:18:11 am
Special teams coach Mike Westhoff just laid into K Jay Feely - using very colorful language - for a far less than perfect kickoff."
Jay Feely is very religious and goodie two shoes-ish. |
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| TERRIBLE SECRETS |
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| 09:30am 03/08/2009 |
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mood: exanimate
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I know the specific mutation involved in a student's research.
AND IT HASN'T BEEN PUBLISHED YET.
WILL SELL GENETIC SECRETS FOR F00DZ. |
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| DEFINITELY NOT RACIST! |
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| 08:40am 30/07/2009 |
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mood: exanimate
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"(CNN) -- A Boston police officer who sent a mass e-mail referring to Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. as a "banana-eating jungle monkey" has apologized, saying he's not a racist." |
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| TELL ME WHY |
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| 07:16pm 25/07/2009 |
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mood: exanimate
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I am making progress at learning to play the Penpals song from Berserk on Ukelele.
This will be epic. |
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| Best Spam Mail of the Year? |
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| 11:37am 12/07/2009 |
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mood: exanimate
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"
Flag this message
Sitting by the well playing
Saturday, July 11, 2009 9:46 PM
From:
"relax-eleven@jugend-wacht.de" <relax-eleven@jugend-wacht.de>
Add sender to Contacts
Hi. My golden ball fell into the water;
httdddp://pornandsex.bisexlist.com/azkkkvqx.html
undesirable"
bwahahaha. I broke the link so no one accidentally clicks on it. |
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| POISON ICICLE |
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| 08:18pm 08/07/2009 |
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mood: exanimate
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Pat introduced me to this awesomeness aeons ago, and I now share it with you.
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| The Saga of Waco Williams |
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| 03:32am 23/06/2009 |
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mood: exanimate
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I saw an old Maverick episode the other day, The Saga of Waco Williams.
Bret Maverick is following around a gunslinger named Waco Williams, a man of principle. Maverick, of course, despite his heart of gold, is a man of compromise where it benefits him.
A couple jerks accuse Maverick of cheating in a card game, and insist at gunpoint that he take his jacket off to show that he doesn't have any rigging for hidden cards up his sleeve. Maverick tries to talk them out of it, but they insist. Waco Williams comes up to the table and points a gun at them, at which point Maverick becomes nervous that his fat easy card game is going to be ruined and takes off his jacket "See boys? No rigging! Now let's get back to poker."
At this point, Waco Williams insists, as a man of principle (and much to Maverick's chagrin!) that the other men remove their coats too, and ends up sucker punching one of the players when they refuse, and beating the crap out of both of them for being jerks. When Maverick and Williams are about to be put in jail, Maverick asks Williams why he had to do what he did, everything would have been fine!
"Bully beat me up once when I was a kid. Made me eat dirt. Didn't much like it. Promised I'd never do it again."
Maverick replies:
"We all should eat dirt sometimes! It's good for us!"
The theme of the episode is that Waco Williams takes all kinds of action based on his principles that are contrary to his self interest and seem likely to get him killed, despite Maverick's pleading with him to be "rational."
At the end of the episode Waco Williams is a hero to the town, elected sheriff, and marries the prettiest girl in town. Maverick slinks out of town, befuddled, forgotten, and says to himself "Maybe I'm doing things wrong."
I feel for Maverick. I'm a dirt eater! |
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| TORNADO STRIKES....in dreams. |
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| 12:08pm 18/06/2009 |
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mood: exanimate
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I dreamt last night that I was a resident student at William Paterson and a tornado struck. I narrowly avoided being sucked into oblivion and chose the right building out of three. Hunzicker Hall was annihilated as were one of the towers.
One student was horribly killed on a broken glass window! |
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meifumado's journal
