The Six Paths

If you meet the Buddha, kill the Buddha.


lulz truth yo'.
Khan
meifumado
"....the worst thing about regret is that it makes you duck the chance of suffering new regret just as you get a glimmer that nothing's worth doing unless it has the potential to fuck up your whole life." -Richard Ford, Independence Day.

LIVEJOURNAL WUT?
Khan
meifumado
I am so kind of drunk right now.

PEACE.

(no subject)
Khan
meifumado
Dear Mr. Lehrer:

I am sorry to inform you that there is no interest in your "ALBUM OF SONGS".

Thank you for submitting your songs to us.

Sincerely,

CAPITOL RECORDS, INC.

-(rejection letter from Capitol Records (in its entirety), January 27th, 1954)

Terrible Buddhist
Khan
meifumado
I just killed a larger and nastier cockroach in my new home in Virginia than I ever saw in my home in Florida.

It was totally motivated by revulsion.

What does the narrator say in Fight Club? "And I used to be such a nice guy?"

OMG LIVEJOURNAL!!!!
Fugu
meifumado
AD&D Alignment Chart for NFL Head Coaches @ www.thefoosballwizard.com, starring my handsome face in a banner, a lame hat, and magic flying footballs.

SPORTS BLOG LAUNCHED
The Horror!
meifumado
My sports (99% football) blog is LAUNCHED.

The other 1% is alpacas. I'm not even kidding. I have an alpaca of the week feature.

Check it out here!

Not interested in sports? My floating head in a stupid hat is surrounded by glowing footballs in the banner. ARE YOU INTERESTED NOW?

SHAAAAVING CREAM.
animal
meifumado

Another Farmville-Facebook Mother Interlude
Khan
meifumado
Mom: I need 10 horseshoes and 10 nails...write that down
why don't u start a stable
I can finish it quickly for u and you put all your horses(up t0 20) in it

Me: Nah I like my farm to be dysfunctional - like our government.

Mom: dig up some ground and get stable
lol
then u can collect on the horses 20 all at once
same with checken coop and cow thingie
easier

Me: I don't exploit my animals - they'll allowed to roam free and hoard their eggs, hair and truffles. I treat my trees the same way because they are also living things.

Suffering Alleviated!
Milky Joe
meifumado
I have been accepted into the M.A. program at George Washington University.

I at least have something to fall back on if I don't get accepted into a PhD!

ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD.

THE HORROR! THE HORROR!
The Horror!
meifumado
I dreamt last night that I was accepted into two PhD programs - one at Temple with funding and another without funding.

I did not experience joy - just RELIEF!

The cat jumped on my head while I read the Temple acceptance, waking me from my academic themed slumber!

I picked a hell of a year to apply to grad school.

New Candidate for Spam Mail of the Year
Hashish
meifumado
****Evidently this money is to help me in WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS I DO THAT SHEIKH MAHMOUD LIKES!!!! ALLAHU FUCKING AKBAR MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!****

I wish to notify you that late Sheikh Mahmoud Alzammar made
you a beneficiary in his WILL. He left the sum of Three
Million, and twenty-five thousand British Pounds (£3, 025,
000) to you in the Codicil and last testament to his WILL.
According to him, this money is to support your
humanitarian/ medical help/ orphanage activities and to help
the poor and the needy in our society. Please respond for
further correspondence through my email:
malcolm.sherigham@rocketmail.com call line: +44 701 113 2469
I await your prompt response.
Yours in Service,
Malcolm Sherigham Esq.

When Your Parents Get on Facebook
Milky Joe
meifumado
[14:01] Mom: go to your farm
[14:01] Me: haha
[14:01] Me: The farm life has passed me by
[14:02] Mom: send me wood boards for my stable
[14:02] Me: Back when I farmed it was simple...there were just crops animals and trees!
[14:02] Mom: go for 5 min
[14:02] Me: Now there's all kinds of new fangled contraptions!
[14:02] Mom: i need stuff
[14:02] Me: Obviously you are not a BUDDHIST farmer!
[14:03] Mom: lol

I REMEMBERED ON THE BUS!!!!
Milky Joe
meifumado
...because there was an article about Lost in the NY Times! It jogged my memory!

Strangely, Pat's livejournal post about Lost did not jog my memory.

I wanted to write about something else about quantum physics that wasn't lost related, but I totally forgot that part.

Anyway, it's obvious how one new part of the series functions and how it will be resolved.

Because of MAGICAL FUCKED UP TIME CONTINUUM SHIT created by the detonation of the h-bomb over the "magnetic anomaly" (here, I chuckle audibly at this cliched sci-fi plot device. Why does magnetism cause such fucked up shit to happen? Should there be minor anomalies in my refrigerator from all the magnets?!?) there are two realities that exist.

It's Schrodinger's Cat! It is dead AND alive because it exists as two wave functions. The survivors are both SAFE in LA having never crashed on the island AND back on the island.

Just like Schrodinger's Cat is both dead and alive (Two wave functions) until it is observed (if you subscribe to a certain brand of quantum physics) the survivors exist in both states as a wave function until they are "observed." Then, when the wave function collapses, one reality will be determined.... the point where PROBABILITY BECOMES REALITY! Of course, this is if you subscribe to the Copehagen Interpretation. If you subscribe to the Many Worlds Interpretation, this probably works differently. I don't like the Many Worlds Interpretation because I think the whole wave function collapse thing is awesome.

The "observing" will probably be accomplished through some sort of cliched plot device where someone has to make a choice. I wager it will probably be a character with a romantic interest in one of the other characters who will have to make it as though they have never met if they choose the non-island crash version of events. OH GOD, THE SUFFERING.

Anyway, I wanted my prediction to be in writing. I am quite the amateur when it comes to quantum physics, so feel free to correct me or do your own research. This isn't gospel!

Here is a link that I think may be helpful for anyone who wants to understand the difference between the Copenhagen Interpretation and the Many Worlds Interpretation without putting too much energy into it. You need only read the part labeled "NATURE OF COLLAPSE."

OMG LIVEJOURNAL
The Horror!
meifumado
When I woke up this morning, I had this idea to write a really intelligent post about something and enumerated various details that I would go over in it. I think it was some boring, esoteric topic that was mostly appealing to me.

Fortunately for all of you, I forget what the hell it was.

Avatar is Awesome - SAVE OUR FORESTS OMG!!!!
Milky Joe
meifumado
Long time no see livejournal! Here's my review of AVATAR, which I saw last night IN THREE GODDAMNED DIMENSIONS!

Godzilla was an allegory for the atomic bomb. Cloverfield was an allegory for 9/11. Avatar is a much more thinly veiled allegory for destruction of the rain forest by capitalistic greed! It is also devoid of giant, angry city destroying monsters of the scale of Godzilla.

(Minor spoilers inside - BEWARE.)Collapse )

Grad School Apps Are Sailing In
Milky Joe
meifumado
Bank account become gradually lower. Hoping some school wants to train a screwball historian into war atrocities and TANKS.

THE DREAM IS ALIVE
Khan
meifumado
Maybe I wasn't insane predicting the Jets would go 11-5 this year. I think I predicted they'd lose their first two games, is the funny thing.

SPAM EMAIL OF THE DAY!
The Horror!
meifumado
Attn Sir,
As a matter of urgency my patient Mrs Lena Morrison a widow an American citizen is at the point of death here in American Hospital Dubai. She made an oral WiLL earlier this morning for her bond investment of £6.878.678 with one of the bank here in Dubai . She mandated me as her Doctor to find a good American citizen man or woman whom will make use of this fund as humanitarian assistance and whom will use it to help the less previlledged in the U.S.A If you receive this letter with interest to help response and i will explain more to you on the next step to take.
Dr. Amro Al-Astal

That deaf, dumb and blind kid....
Milky Joe
meifumado
I'm starting a football twitter this year. For updates, add me: Foosball_Wizard. All I promise you is more intelligent commentary than the average football commentator, which isn't much. You'll only receive football tweets from me on game days when I'm paying attention.

A Joe Namath Style Guarantee
Khan
meifumado
Mark Sanchez will be the starting QB in week one for the Jets barring an injury or total implosion.

Not really a QB competition here.

GREAT MOMENTS IN BUDDHISM! *TRAILS OFF, ECHO STYLE*
The Horror!
meifumado
I walked out of work and started unchaining my bike from a pole. There were tiny ants all over the post my bicycle was chained to, and some had strayed onto the wet bicycle seat I was about to cover with a plastic bag for my ride home.

With immense loving-kindness and compassion I gently blew the tiny ants from my bicycle seat. Satisfied that they would all go home safely to their cyclopean (by ant standards) nest, I affixed the plastic bag to my seat and rode on.

There was a police officer offering free registration of bicycles to prevent theft, so I stopped to register mine. During the process, a mere two minutes after my ant capades ended, some sort of horrific insect beast stung my forearm.

I LOVE YOU TOO, HORRIFIC BEAST.

Sportsline.com Indulges Rabid Football Fans
Khan
meifumado
Thanks to sportsline.com, rabid football fans such as myself can view text updates from their team's minicamp.

This made me crack a smile:

"Aug 4 2009 | 10:18:11 am
Special teams coach Mike Westhoff just laid into K Jay Feely - using very colorful language - for a far less than perfect kickoff."

Jay Feely is very religious and goodie two shoes-ish.

OM NOM NOM FAIL
Khan
meifumado
fail owned pwned pictures
see more Fail Blog

lol tabloidaments
Khan
meifumado
Tabloids crack me up.

TERRIBLE SECRETS
Khan
meifumado
I know the specific mutation involved in a student's research.

AND IT HASN'T BEEN PUBLISHED YET.

WILL SELL GENETIC SECRETS FOR F00DZ.

BILL BELICHICK NOW .002838% FRIENDLIER
Khan
meifumado
Bill Belichick, who is entering his 10th season, on what has changed most since his first practice in 2000:

"I'd say I'm a lot friendlier."

A Recorded Message to All My LiveJournal Fans
Khan
meifumado
Click here for message.

DEFINITELY NOT RACIST!
Khan
meifumado
"(CNN) -- A Boston police officer who sent a mass e-mail referring to Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. as a "banana-eating jungle monkey" has apologized, saying he's not a racist."

TELL ME WHY
Khan
meifumado
I am making progress at learning to play the Penpals song from Berserk on Ukelele.

This will be epic.

Minor Victory for Allied Forces
Khan
meifumado
Today we celebrate my minor victory over the IRS with MUSIC:


Best Spam Mail of the Year?
Khan
meifumado
"
Flag this message
Sitting by the well playing
Saturday, July 11, 2009 9:46 PM
From:
"relax-eleven@jugend-wacht.de" <relax-eleven@jugend-wacht.de>
Add sender to Contacts

Hi. My golden ball fell into the water;
httdddp://pornandsex.bisexlist.com/azkkkvqx.html

undesirable"

bwahahaha. I broke the link so no one accidentally clicks on it.

POISON ICICLE
Khan
meifumado
Pat introduced me to this awesomeness aeons ago, and I now share it with you.


CORINTHIAN LEATHER
Khan
meifumado


Added BONUS: NAZI ZOMBIES!!!


Someday I Will Attack People With Carrots
Khan
meifumado

Weird weapons from Aion.

The Saga of Waco Williams
Khan
meifumado
I saw an old Maverick episode the other day, The Saga of Waco Williams.

Bret Maverick is following around a gunslinger named Waco Williams, a man of principle. Maverick, of course, despite his heart of gold, is a man of compromise where it benefits him.

A couple jerks accuse Maverick of cheating in a card game, and insist at gunpoint that he take his jacket off to show that he doesn't have any rigging for hidden cards up his sleeve. Maverick tries to talk them out of it, but they insist. Waco Williams comes up to the table and points a gun at them, at which point Maverick becomes nervous that his fat easy card game is going to be ruined and takes off his jacket "See boys? No rigging! Now let's get back to poker."

At this point, Waco Williams insists, as a man of principle (and much to Maverick's chagrin!) that the other men remove their coats too, and ends up sucker punching one of the players when they refuse, and beating the crap out of both of them for being jerks. When Maverick and Williams are about to be put in jail, Maverick asks Williams why he had to do what he did, everything would have been fine!

"Bully beat me up once when I was a kid. Made me eat dirt. Didn't much like it. Promised I'd never do it again."

Maverick replies:
"We all should eat dirt sometimes! It's good for us!"

The theme of the episode is that Waco Williams takes all kinds of action based on his principles that are contrary to his self interest and seem likely to get him killed, despite Maverick's pleading with him to be "rational."

At the end of the episode Waco Williams is a hero to the town, elected sheriff, and marries the prettiest girl in town. Maverick slinks out of town, befuddled, forgotten, and says to himself "Maybe I'm doing things wrong."

I feel for Maverick. I'm a dirt eater!

TORNADO STRIKES....in dreams.
Khan
meifumado
I dreamt last night that I was a resident student at William Paterson and a tornado struck. I narrowly avoided being sucked into oblivion and chose the right building out of three. Hunzicker Hall was annihilated as were one of the towers.

One student was horribly killed on a broken glass window!

FOOSBALL
Khan
meifumado
I'm really warming up to Mark Sanchez. I'm starting to think this guy's a winner and it was worth it to trade up for him.

Rex Ryan gives the most entertaining press conferences in NY Jets history. He is definitely his father's son.

If Sanchez isn't the starter on opening day, I'm going to be pretty surprised.

The pus! The pain! The black voodoo! The wet jigsaw puzzle!
Khan
meifumado
To cheer up everyone on this cold, rainy day!


TEN CENT BEER NIGHT MAYHEM
animal
meifumado
The Legendary Ten Cent Beer Night.

SHIPS
Khan
meifumado

SHIPS
Originally uploaded by meifumado
User created spaceship in spore that is apparently the head and torso of Shaggy from Scoobie Doo. That's my ship, the SPACE JUNK, in front.

How To Talk to Your Daughter About Menstruation
Khan
meifumado
Courtesy of the 1930's!

WISDOM FROM THE PAST
Khan
meifumado
"There is only one drawback to the game of poker - you can lose." -Brett Maverick

Chess on Roller Coasters
Khan
meifumado
Chess on Roller Coasters.

BRET, NOT BURT!
Khan
meifumado
The old Maverick series with James Garner and Jack Kelly is pretty good. It's pretty edgy for the 1950's and still finds room for some good old fashioned 50's hokeyness!

BREKKY
Khan
meifumado
Tuna and Green Tea for breakfast!

OISHII KATA DES!

I Made a Kirin
Khan
meifumado
My reward for getting some packing done was some quality time with spore!

It's a Kirin (Qilin). I suggest you load this noble creature into your copy of Spore! Remember, it's sinful to kill one, so just make peace with them in game!

I especially love the moustache.

GOOD NEWS!
Khan
meifumado
North Korea has fired a sixth missile, and is now out of missiles.

"WE WILL MAKE RICE PUDDING OUT OF YOUR BONES." -Kim Jong Il

JURASSIC PARK IS BACK ONLINE.
Khan
meifumado
I got Spore online working thanks to help from a customer service rep. They misprinted a bunch of CD Keys on the booklets, evidently.

...and it didn't cost me as much as it is to repair my car!

BEHOLD: My spore creations.

Why I Don't Play at the Taj Mahal anymore...
Khan
meifumado
...despite my love of Mughal India.

There was a shooting inside the Taj Mahal casino in Atlantic City on Wednesday afternoon. Emergency units responded to the casino just after 4:30 p.m. to remove a woman suffering from at least one gunshot wound. Witnesses said the assailant was man. Beyond that details are sketchy. The Taj Mahal is a Trump hotel and casino on Virginia Avenue along Boardwalk at the famous Steel Pier.WCBS-TV New York - 1 hour, 24 minutes ago. Link to article.

Borgata 4 life! No mystery goo on the poker chips, no stabbings, no shootings, no guys begging you for "5$ for their bus fare."

Last year a fight in the poker room continued outside the front door and someone was stabbed.

In another legendary Taj moment, a pizza delivered to the High Stakes area was stolen by a degenerate who ran out the front door with it.

Spore is Awesome
Khan
meifumado
...despite the fact that the account system they use is totally borked and I can't use any internet features.

My creation, a small, green elephant with a tophat, butterfly wings, and a bow on its ass, is taking the galaxy by storm, economically. (I'm a Jew, dammit!)

I call my creation....SLIMEDOG MILLIONAIRE. All its vehicles are pimped cars with gold rims and covered in bling.

Screenshots will be incoming.

?

Log in